BMH3 #371 – 4/13/2024: Ivamna Hairy Butt Chug and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

 

 

****Lots of summer trails available!!  SIGN UP NOW! MAKE US WET!
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BMH3 #371 – 4/13/2024: Ivanna Hairy Butt Chug and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

When:

Saturday, April 13th TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

WG Jones State Forest Trail Head

FM 1488, Conroe, TX 77384

30.234439755362769, -95.48216636441869

https://maps.app.goo.gl/EUXT8E2smgamgTsFA

Hares:

Ivanna Hairy Butt Chug

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

After a wonderful TXIH weekend it’s time to get back to regular life. So its Monkey time! It’s also tax time. Your hares for this weekend trail, Indiana Bones and Ivana, will punish you like the IRS. Are tax forms frustrating? Yep, so is this trail. Are tax laws confusing? Yep, so is this trail. You will cry like an auditors bitch, you will bleed like your bank account at tax time. Expect 1-1040 ish miles, several beer checks, some new trail marks and a possible pool ending.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS GETTING REALLY NICE OUT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=KatchUp=-

BMH3 #370 – 3/30/2024: Penis Fly Crap and Just Scott

 

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 BMH3 #370 – 3/30/2024: Penis Fly Crap and Just Scott

When:

Saturday, March 30th TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

6307 Green Forest Ln, Spring, TX 77386
30.069789682880369, -95.3183812207469
https://maps.app.goo.gl/W7qLHnvPBxare6jo7

Hares:

Penis Fly Crap
Just Scott

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Cum on out for a lovely spring hash and Just Scott's virgin hare.  No gimmicks, just shiggy.  Bring $5 and virgins

Bring:

WATER, IT IS GETTING REALLY NICE OUT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

The Green Dress Run and an Analversary for 69!!!

 

 

 

****Lots of hare dates open!!  SIGN UP NOW!
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BMH3 #369 – 3/16/2024: The Green Dress Run and an Analversary for 69!!!

When:

Saturday, March Sixteenth TwentyTwentyfour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

That parking lot at the dead end of old riley fuzzel rd

1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386

30.09337215624741, -95.40564508348992

Hares:

Cocktor Spork - KatchUp - Twinkle Toes? 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

It's finally time for all of us to go nose-diving together into that glorious cusp of the V that is our legs. This amazing trail is hared by three hares with plenty of great shiggy trails under their belt, so expect some damn good shiggy. We are looking at a nice and easy 4-6 mile trail with the potential for two beer checks. The weather leading up to and on the day of is looking a bit wet; if that is the case, we could be looking at an adventure float down Spring Creek. Make sure to bring some kind of flotation device in the event we get to float. We will have a dog-friendly trail, but unfortunately, no floating for your furry friends unless you want them to

Song from the Hares:

(Melody - 369 Cupid ft. B.O.B)

Three, six, nine the Monkey drank wine

The monkey smoked the dope on the street car line 

And the line broke and the monkey got chocked

And they all went to heaven in a lil' inflatable float ((clap, clap))

Ladies and gentlemen I'm about to make you feel alright

I've got the beat to move your feet plus I know just what you like,

Rough shiggy ahead, in your sight

Let's make another monkey and drink all night

Bring:

WATER, IT IS starting to warmup!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Dont go in the neighborhood, from holzworth, drive down the dirt road until you see the parking lot.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #368 – 3/2/2024: Womb Raiders birthday!

 

 

****Lots of hare dates open!!  SIGN UP NOW!
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BMH3 #368 – 3/2/2024: Womb Raiders birthday!

When:

Saturday, March Second TwentyTwentyfour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Parking-Lake at Springwoods Village Nature Preserve
Trailhead by Exxon
24000 Holzwarth Rd, Spring, TX 77389
https://maps.app.goo.gl/nBxp2KwcN1FAvQ1D7
30.1029838112169, -95.45661527414569

Hares:

Womb Raider

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Trail will be between 3-4 miles with plenty of shiggy and thorns. It is finally warm enough to get y’all wet so expect water crossings. There will be one manned beer check with tasty selections of beverages and one unmanned shot check (no guarantees shots will be tasty as Dresses with Wolves picked it out based solely on the coolness of the label). For circle I will be baking something (or let’s be honest more likely buying something) Birthday Cake like. Looking forward to punishing y’all with a great/shitty trail in honor of another year of survival and drinking for it!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS starting to warmup!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Dont go in the neighborhood, from holzworth, drive down the dirt road until you see the parking lot.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #367 – 2/17/2024: TWINKLE TOES 40th birthday!! and Brass Monkey 14th anniversary CAMPOUT!

 

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BMH3 #367 – 2/17/2024: TWINKLE TOES 40th birthday!! and Brass Monkey 14th anniversary CAMPOUT!

When:

Saturday, February Seventeenth, TwoThousandandTwentyFour

•Camping: Anytime you want, I suggest early enough to setup camp before trail

• Trail: Main Pack NOON show, NOON:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

TRAIL:
Double Lake Hunter camp on NFSR 220
Forest Service Rd 220, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sL1SAkKX35KajKNB7

Camping:Go read the Notes from the Hares!

Hare:

TWINKLE TOES!!!!!!!

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
TRAIL:  Trail will gather at NOON, Pack off at NOON:30! Trail will be 4 to 6 miles of glorious Sam Houston National Forest shiggy.  I mean this area is just some of the best shiggy I have had the pleasure to scout and lay in a looooong time.  Expect serious shiggy, if necessary, you will be able to bail at the beer checks.  I highly recommend Shiggy Socks/pants, long sleeves,and bug spray, I found a tick on me afterwards.

CAMPING: For the on after, we will be CAMPING!!!!! After circle beer runs out and hash snacks are gone, you're on your own! Bring Your Own EVERYTHING! You'll need to take care of yourself until you can pack up and leave sunday morning.
I highly recommend arriving a bit before trail and setting up your camp before trail. You can come as early as you want, even Friday!
These campsites are primitive, as in bring a poop shovel primitive!

With the weather being a little soggy in the days beforehand, we have two options for campsite:
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369    The Start location campsite, it's nicer, but tends to become a bit muddy, so if it's too muddy, or crowded, we'll go to option B

Option B will just be a little farther down NFSR 220: 30.539560125179769, -95.1290570960769  It's closer to the road, but less pooling water, If we camp here we'll do CarFronts to the start of trail.

I'll post and park my Jeep at whichever site I think we should use, but really whoever sets up tents first gets it.

Bring:

WATER, you're camping and running, you'll get thirsty!
FOOD you have to feed yourself dinner, and maybe breakfast depending how fast you leave Sunday.
BOOZE, circle beer won't last all night
FIREWOOD
SHELTER
POOPSHOVEL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail and camping on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #366 – 02/03/2024: 4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

 

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BMH3 #366 – 02/03/2024: 4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

When:

Saturday, February Third, TwoThousand and Twenty Four
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

South end Cul De Sac of Mesa Dr, Humble, TX 77396
https://maps.app.goo.gl/cWm7bPNwvEEAy8WH8
29.92454993098769, -95.28004306775469

Hares:

4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Trail will by A-to-A prime!!! Length 3.69 miles
Info: A mix of shiggy and NE Houston splendor! Lots of rough terrain, one section with scrambling up/down a hill, a BVC water crossing over a plank bridge, multiple instances of trespassing (j/k.. unless?), yeah folks we got it all! Should be dog friendly, but walkers need to be ready for difficult terrain, walking over broken glass/boards-with-nails, etc. Because of recent rain, there will likely be plenty of standing water and sogginess on trail. Plan accordingly!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

Turns out Nutz likes you and gave me directions to pass along!
Going eastbound on BW8 North loop, take Mesa Dr exit (first exist after 59, last free exit), turn right onto Mesa Dr and drive into the Fall Creek subdivision. Go past two pools and over a bridge and you’ll reach southern termination point of Mesa Dr. Look for hashers.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #365 - 01/20/2024:CSI

 

 

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 BMH3 #365 - 01/20/2024:CSI

When:

Saturday, January twenty, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Carter Park
7221 Treaschwig Rd, Spring, TX 77373
https://maps.app.goo.gl/1evAy2HaFvPcBd7T6
30.05272974509469, -95.32650621483969

Hares:

Cant Stop Inhaling (CSI)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
No water crossings and length will be temperature dependent.

Bring:

WARM CLOTHES, IT's cold!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-